My intention for creating this blog is to hold space for many things at once. The true essence of motherhood, isn’t it? I aim to share tips for coping, ideas to emotionally regulate, ways to foster community, decrease the mental load, but also share real life anecdotes from my own experiences in motherhood, book reviews, and recipes. My hope is to normalize what we are all going through, that is not necessarily in the “highlight reel” of social media these days. Let’s engage in some exploration of the self, together. I look forward to having you join me.
As I sit down to conceptualize this platform as both a learning tool and outlet, I recognize the automatic thought of “do I have time for this?” So often in motherhood, our priorities rest on a balancing scale and we are forced to choose the option with the most weight. However, two things can exist at once. I might feel spread thin, AND I can also hold emotional space for my clients, friends, and family members. Perhaps it’s a balance of gratitude for my children, while also feeling frustrated with the developmental season that they are in. Or maybe, it is devoting time for this blog. How would I otherwise find myself using time, rather than writing?
When I work with a new mom for the first time, there’s a lot of guilt conveyed in her storytelling. “I should have been more present.” “I shouldn’t have raised my voice.” “Shouldn’t I want to be more engaged in my marriage?” We receive these messages both societally and from our own histories that cause us to internalize our behaviors and the weight of motherhood. I therefore find myself continuing to repeat, both in my work and personal life, “two things can exist at once”. The intention behind this sentiment is to allow for grace, for permission, for validation, for growth, for sighs of relief, for lightness, and for tears.
It seems that we as women are told we have to pick something all the time — for example, we have to be mothers like we don’t have careers, but work like we don’t have children. Why can’t we not only do both, but be wonderful at both? Of course, there are days where perhaps we have 40% to give and feel as if bedtime cannot come soon enough. But if we give that complete 40%, doesn’t that mean we have done our best?
My question for you as the reader is, “what does allowing two things to exist at once mean to you?” How does that feel to grant yourself with the freedom of permission? Treating yourself with more compassion and kindness can open many doors. I encourage you to apply this phrase when the moment feels heavy and see how your inner experience lightens.